awesome_lilly: (christmas: joy)
[personal profile] awesome_lilly

Twas the night before Christmas, and all through Milliways
Many creatures were stirring, most in a drunken haze

Traps were hung in Lilly's chimney with care
In hopes that weird bearded men would not enter there

The children were nestled all snug in their beds
With visions of decapitated fish in their heads

Lilly with her vodka, and Puck in Havelock's lap
Had just settled in for a long winter's drinking nap

When up on the roof there arose such a clatter
That Lilly told Puck to go see what was the matter

Away to the window Puck prodded Havelock
He lifted the window and coolly took stock:

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Made Lilly wonder who'd built a big old snow ho

And then what to their wondering eyes did appear
But some shapes on the roof that weren't quite clear

Lilly stuck her head out when Havelock wisely paused
And said "Holy shit, is that Santa Claus?"

More rapid than eagles Puck's eyebrows they lifted
"If you've convinced him you're good, than you truly are gifted."

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly
So fled the spark of amusement that lit Havelock's eye

And then in a twinkling they heard on the roof
Swearing and cursing and language most uncouth

"Wow," Lilly said, her eyes wide and bright,
"If Santa swears like that, he might be all right."

"I suppose," Puck drawled," we should see who's up there."
"Indeed," Havelock said, as though he didn't really care.

"Fine," Lilly said, "but I'm too drunk to climb"
And indeed, her ascent took quite some time.

Over the edge she did not so much bound
To see what Puck and Havelock had already found

He was dressed all medieval, from his head to his toes,
And to put it kindly, he didn't smell like a rose.

Lilly gasped when she saw him, in spite of herself
"Okay, seriously, that's too tall for an elf."

Puck padded forward, but before he could start mocking
Lilly realized that she knew the owner of the stockings

"Oh my god," she said, beginning to laugh.
"No worries, guys, I think that's just Raph."

A stray middle finger and an aggravated sigh
Soon let them know it was that ex-turtle guy

Raph spoke not a word, but turned back to the tent
That once dreamed of being a studio apartment.

Puck and Havelock returned to Lilly's suite
But for Lilly the night just wasn't complete.

"Merry Christmas," she yelled in Raph's direction
With a whole lot of volume but also affection

And she heard him exclaim, as she went back over the edge
In tones of desperation most often heard on a ledge

"Merry Christmas to you, and I swear they ain't tights!"
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September 2012

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