Cubefall OOM

[awesome_lilly]

Lilly came in from her latest travels, stopped, looked around, and started laughing.

"Oh, Bar. Don't ever change. I mean, don't ever stop changing. Whatever."

Still grinning, she grabs a seat and starts trying to make a martini glass out of tinkertoys.

Comments

[awesome_lilly]

Lilly glances up and grins. It's been so long since she's seen this particular spouse.

"Hi, honey. How was your day?"

She may even throw in a little eyelash-batting.

[wheelsy_sheriff]

Bill shakes his head, amused but trying not to show it.

"This still ain't funny you know." He informs her, taking a seat next to her. "Where you been?"

[awesome_lilly]

"Please, it's hilarious and you know it."

Lilly frowns at her martini glass. The shape is good. The gaps where the precious alcohol is going to fall out? Not so much.

"Oh, I was just out of Bar for a while. Much as I love Milliways, it can get a little claustrophobic after a whole Scottish winter."

[wheelsy_sheriff]

"Gettin out is nice. Glad you did." Bill nods, picking up a tinkertoy and fiddling with it absently.

"Hey, you didn't happen to figure somethin out for us to be not married anymore, did you?"

[awesome_lilly]

Lilly looks shifty.

"Was I supposed to be doing that?"

This is a 'no.'

"Because you know, I totally would have, but uh... I've actually fallen madly in love with you and can't bear the thought of a divorce? Or I'm lazy. Whatever."

[wheelsy_sheriff]

"Well, I was kinda hoping."

He eyes her and folds his arms, "I'm gonna go with the lazy."

Madly in love is not an option here.

[awesome_lilly]

It really isn't.

"Hey," Lilly says, looking mildly affronted. "If you want a divorce that badly, you really should be nicer to me."

[wheelsy_sheriff]

Bill's arms unfold quickly, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean...I just, I really need this Lilly."

[awesome_lilly]

"Yeah, I'm not sure emphasizing your burning need to be divorced from me is helping."

She shrugs.

"But it's not like I really want to be married to you. I'm cutting back on spouses."

[wheelsy_sheriff]

"Well...no you...I just...it ain't you." He says and winces because how old is that line?

"I'm sorry. I really didn't mean it like that." This is really not going well.

[awesome_lilly]

Oh, Lilly thinks it's going fabulously. She looks up at Bill, wounded.

"Is this what we've come to, Bill? After all the... cake? And then that time when I didn't see you for like a month? I know we can't stay together, but God. Does it have to end like this?"

[wheelsy_sheriff]

Bill has the sneaky suspicion that Lilly is messing with him. But, he's also worried that she might actually be hurt and he doesn't want to make it worse.

Unable to decide he finally has to ask, "Are you just screwin with me here? Because I mean, there ain't been nothin between us 'cept you messin with me and me never knowing what's what."

[awesome_lilly]

"That's true. But!"

Lilly's grinning again now.

"Maybe it's only true because you keep refusing to screw with me."

In other words: yes, she's messing with him and no, she's probably not going to stop.

[wheelsy_sheriff]

Bill eyes her and sighs, "An you're wondering why I want a divorce."

It's not that he refuses, it's that if he tried she'd soundly beat him at it. Though, he won't be admitting this of course.

[awesome_lilly]

"Oh, totally."

Lilly flips her hair.

"I'm kinda fabulous, after all. Also rich and with a tendency to throw amazing parties. I was figuring you'd want to stay married for a little while, just for the perks."

[wheelsy_sheriff]

Okay fine. Bill's going to try and play.

"Perks? What perks? You ain't ever around. That's marriage abandonment on your part. I could totally take this to court an get all your riches an throw big amazin parties of my own."

[awesome_lilly]

Marriage abandonment? Lilly cracks up, giggling helplessly.

"Oh my god Bill. I changed my mind, you are my new favorite spouse and we are never ever getting divorced. I'll never leave you again, I promise!"

Some people might take that as a threat, but whatever.

[wheelsy_sheriff]

Bill quickly reigns in the freak out reaction that her statement causes and soldiers on.

"What? Nu-uh. It's too late for that. I know you're only saying that so I'll stick around but soon as I say I will you'll be out that door again. Gone. Wherever it is you go."

[awesome_lilly]

"No, baby. I swear. I've changed."

Lilly's eyes are very big and very sincere. It's the grin she keeps having to smother that ruins the effect.

"We can be together all the time."

[wheelsy_sheriff]

"Well now you're smothering me. I feel trapped. I need my space." Bill counters.

He turns his head from her to hide his own grin. This is completely ridiculous, but also very funny.

[awesome_lilly]

Lilly certainly agrees, or she would not be biting her lip to keep in the laughter.

"Well, luckily for you? We're in the bar at the end of the universe!"

She flings an arm out towards the Observation Window.

"There you go, baby. There's all the space you'll ever need."

[wheelsy_sheriff]

"That's not the space I mean." Bill says, turning back to her and doing his best to maintain a disappointed look.

"See, that's exactly why this marriage doesn't work. You don't listen to me or understand me at all."

He reaches out and puts a hand on her shoulder, "C'mon Lilly. You an I both know this wasn't meant to be."

[awesome_lilly]

"It's true," Lilly says sadly, looking down.

"But only because there's someone else for you, isn't there?"

[wheelsy_sheriff]

That stops Bill short because even though it's been all messing around up until now she's hit the nail right on the head and he's tossed right out of the joking mindset.

"I..." He clears his throat and nods his head. "Yeah."

Reminding himself this wasn't exactly a real marriage in anything but the legal sense doesn't help make this any less awkward.

[awesome_lilly]

"Oooh, there is?"

Lilly brightens immediately.

"Why didn't you say so? That's awesome! Who is she? Or, you know, he if that's how you roll. Does he or she like you? Are they cute? And most importantly, do they like Hello Kitty?"

[wheelsy_sheriff]

Lilly's smile immediately breaks up the awkward for Bill and he's smiling and easy again when he nods and replies, "Yeah. Her name is Kate. She's a she. She does. She is. An, unfortunately, yes."

[awesome_lilly]

"Awww."

Lilly pats him on the hand.

"See, if you'd just said so right away, you could have been spared my Tentacles of Our Waves audition. Let's do this thing!


And by thing I mean 'divorce' and not 'each other.'"

[wheelsy_sheriff]

"Tentacles of Our Waves?" He asks, momentarily distracted and then the rest catches up with him.

"Yeah? Okay, let's do it." He nods eagerly. "Just one problem, how?"

It's this moment that Bar chooses to produce the notes and papers Mal Reynolds left for Bill and Lilly.

Bill looks down at the counter in surprise and looks them over, a slow smile forming.

[awesome_lilly]

"Shiny," Lilly says happily, the smile on her face echoing Bill's... right until it drops off abruptly.

"Oh, crap. I can't sign this."

[wheelsy_sheriff]

Bill passes it over to Lilly, since her name's first and starts patting himself down for a pen.

At her words his smile drops off and he looks over at her quickly.

"Why not?!" Thisclose to panic. Really.

[awesome_lilly]

Lilly looks up at him with an expression of utter dismay.

"Because I can't remember all of my last names."

[wheelsy_sheriff]

Bill gives her a look that says 'that ain't funny' and hands over a pen to her.

"Right. Fine, just fill it out with the ones you remember. I'll even let you write mine, since it's the last time an all."

[awesome_lilly]

"Okay..."

Lilly scribbles out Lilly Kane-Johns-Smith-Goodfellow, pauses, and starts counting off silently on her fingers.

After a moment, she adds Kent-Bishop-Gorgon-Pardy and looks up, grinning triumphantly.

"I think I maybe got them all!"

[wheelsy_sheriff]

"Wow. Big list. I could see how it'd be hard to remember em all." He says with a laugh counting the names. "Any left off shouldn't make a difference."

He eyes the line asking for his middle name, chooses to ignore it, and points to the bottom signature lines.

"All right, just sign it, I'll do the same an I think we're good."

[awesome_lilly]

"I think so. Well..."

Lilly grins. She leans over and kisses Bill firmly, and then scribbles her entire name at the bottom of the page.

"Goodbye kiss, check. Signature, check. I'm good now!"

[wheelsy_sheriff]

Bill freezes in wide eyed shock during the kiss and then blinks at her when it's over. He smiles, and might be a bit flushed, as he pulls the paper over so he can finish it.

"Good. Great. We're good. Great." He nods, looking at her with the pen hovering over the paper. "Real good. Thanks. Lilly."

[awesome_lilly]

Lilly smiles cheerfully back at him.

"You're welcome, Ex-Spouse Number.... something. You're a single man now. Go get your girl!"

[wheelsy_sheriff]

Bill snaps out of his stupor and grins. He's not going to kiss Lilly but he can't help giving her a GREAT BIG HUG! before quickly bending over the paper to write and then sign his name.

His middle name is added in the tiniest print Bill can manage and after it's done the paper is returned to Bar quickly, face down. He removes the chain from around his neck and takes off the ring then places it on top of the paper. After a moment both disappear.

Grinning ear to ear Bill hugs Lilly again, pats Bar's surface and gets up, "Lilly, your next drink is totally on me. An Bar, Mal too. An you, if you want somethin. I'm gonna go an...uh...yeah. Thanks, both of you."

[awesome_lilly]

"You're totally welcome, again!"

Lilly hasn't been this entertained in ages.

"Seriously, this was in my top three divorces. See you around, ex-dear!"

[wheelsy_sheriff]

Bill laughs, curious about how many divorces she's had but not going to ask.

"Yeah, I'll see ya. Good luck with your other husbands." He waves and makes a quick exit, lots to do and a certain someone to tell and all.