Lilly-Raven in Dreaming

[awesome_lilly]

There are many days that Raven does not dream--mostly because he rarely sleeps more than an hour at a stretch. Today, however, he has been extremely itchy, and the dreams that accompany deep sleep often help with that. Things begin particularly well, with a very lovely view of his first world, and the river where things began.

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[creator_raven]

It is fairly quiet, here, and Raven is pleased at the absence of the cousins. He trails one hand in the river, drinking the water. There has never been any like it--though this might be purely the result of nostalgia.

The tree is just as he remembers (or so he thinks every time), and he settles himself beneath it, one hand toying idly with several stones.

Several minutes later, he appears to have built the beginnings of a cairn.

[awesome_lilly]

The river, the man, the stones... it looks vaguely familiar. But then, so does everything. Memories that aren't hers but also are haunt Lilly, and for all she knows this is another one of them.

At least this one is peaceful.

She stops, to look closer at the man and what he's building.

[creator_raven]

Raven calmly finishes the cairn, and begins to lay sticks for a fire. He does not look up.

"You are not who I was expecting."

[awesome_lilly]

"I don't think I was expecting you either," Lilly says, her eyes on his hands. They move like wings.

Raven is tired of flying alone all the time.

"...or was I? Do you know which one of me I am?"

Hi. My name is Lilly and I'm very, very interested in going flying some time.

[creator_raven]

He does look up, then, hands still arranging the sticks.

"I might. But I do not think it will help you, if you do not know which you are."

He snaps his fingers, and the fire is lit.

"I have marshmallows. It is tradition, perhaps."

[awesome_lilly]

Lilly doesn't hear him, or doesn't seem to. She's staring at the fire.

burning burning the girl with the long blonde hair is burning

Her hands clench into fists.

veronicasusan is dead not dead and she knew her well -do'ee ken?- they've been bff -same club- since they were little -but she didn't meet her till the bar- what bar? and she could figure it out if it would just stay quiet but it never does anymore

There are tears starting to trickle down her face, now.

[creator_raven]

Raven tilts his head and watches her, for a bit.

"All of these things cannot have happened at the same time. It is the problem, perhaps."

He offers her a scrap of hide.

"You may blow your nose, if you like."

[awesome_lilly]

Lilly takes it automatically.

"Thanks, Raven."

Her voice is flat and far away.

[creator_raven]

Raven blinks.

"You might try being here, for a bit. Sometimes it helps."

Another blink.

"So does sitting, sometimes. Would you like a chair?"

[awesome_lilly]

Lilly glances at him, looks away.

"I am here," she says quietly. "But here is a river and a beach and a car and a house I grew up in and one I've never seen-" her voice is rising "-and I don't know which one is real or where I am or who I am because they're all here and they're all me except for the one who isn't and I can't find her because I don't even know where I'm starting from!"

[creator_raven]

Raven reaches out and takes her hand.

"Start here. I am only ever in one place at a time. It might help."

[awesome_lilly]

Lilly takes his hand, trying desperately to focus on the figure in front of her. She knows him.

doesn't know him never met never died never left

"I'm trying," she whispers. "I'm trying so hard."

shouldn't hold hands with strangers logan will be jealous. logan is dead he can't fly neither can you

"But they just keep getting louder."

never died never left never flew no sound of wings for you

[creator_raven]

Raven's eyes are gentle.

"They do that, yes. And I do not own a piccolo, so we cannot drown them out."

He spreads his hands.

"Have you tried listening for the one that is not speaking? It works with stars."

[awesome_lilly]

The one that's not speaking, when they all are? Lilly tries to smile at Raven -the man across the desk- her friend who she doesn't know and it almost works.

"They're drowning her out. If they get much louder before I find the one that's not talking they'll drown her out forever."

[creator_raven]

"Perhaps we should walk and talk, then."

He stands, and the fire goes out. The river becomes a road.

"Choose a direction, if you like."

He shrugs.

"Maybe you will be lucky."

[awesome_lilly]

"Away," Lilly says, staring down the road. There's a beach next to it, and then there isn't.

"It's the only direction I have. Away from them. Away from it. If I'm lucky... I'm going toward her."

[creator_raven]

"It is a good direction. Purposeful without being overly demanding."

He tilts his head and blinks at her. Then he pulls a snarled mess of thread out of his pocket, pressing it into her hand.

"It is only a symbol, really, and not a good one. But it might serve well enough. You can lose it, if you like."

[awesome_lilly]

Lilly glances down, and a memory flashes in her mind.

"... you can kill people with thread."

She pockets it, and looks up at him, her face set and pale.

"Thanks. I think it'll come in handy."

[creator_raven]

"There is always the chance for that, I think."

His eyes are dark, and he leans over, quickly, to kiss her forehead.

"I would say it is all in your head, but that is the problem, yes?"

He blinks.

"I have never been good at answers. It is difficult."

[etananesoe.livejournal.com]

There is a in the distance, loud and insane with rage.

[awesome_lilly]

Lilly's head jerks up.

"I have to go." Her voice is insistent, perhaps even on the edge of panic.

"I have to go before it gets close again."

[creator_raven]

Raven's head tilts at the sound, and he goes entirely still.

"I think you should, yes."

He nods, shortly.

"Go well, Lilly Kane. May you find what you are looking for. I think you will do well enough, regardless."

He looks at the pocket where she put the thread, and gestures vaguely at the road.

[awesome_lilly]

Lilly just nods at the stranger who took her flying and sets off down the road. She doesn't know where it's going. It doesn't matter not as long as it goes away.

never went away trapped by the blood vagrant dead never ever get away

[etananesoe.livejournal.com]

In the distance, from the direction Lilly originally came, the too-tall, too-black figure of the Crawling Chaos appears.

Where he steps the ground dies, his feet char the grass and scorch the land. His breath causes the river to surge, thick and dark with pollution and decay; when the corrupted water reaches the tree it begins to shed leaves like plucked feathers from a Raven's body.

Red stars like malevolence given form burn in the stark, light-eating skin of his head, and in the silence of his steps the world in pain.

[creator_raven]

Raven shivers, goosebumps prickling on a body that has never felt them. It is as close to stark terror as he can get, perhaps.

It is more than close enough.

Raven flings himself awake, bare moments ahead of that thing. He has no words for it, and needs none. It is enough to add it to the horrors in his mind's eye.

He clenches his fist in the bedcovers, shaking.

"Oh, Lilly. There may not be enough luck in all the worlds."

He does not sleep again.