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Sep. 11th, 2005 06:27 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
awesome_lillyLilly is curled close to Alain, her head resting on his chest and her arm around his waist. It is warm and comfortable and peaceful in his room.
It is also irritatingly bright.
She groans and shifts to bury her face in his neck.
"curtains, 'lain. curtains."
It is also irritatingly bright.
She groans and shifts to bury her face in his neck.
"curtains, 'lain. curtains."
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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Date: 2005-09-12 01:34 am (UTC)"Then you couldn't see the sun."
Logical. Very, very bland.
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Date: 2005-09-12 01:38 am (UTC)She sighs, pulls back from his neck a little. Her eyes are still tightly shut.
"M'going to have to start wearing sunglasses when I sleep here, aren't I?"
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Date: 2005-09-12 01:49 am (UTC)A soft laugh, and he shifts a little, to block her view of the windows a bit more.
"Never think to pull them. 'm used to it."
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Date: 2005-09-12 02:20 am (UTC)"You're probably used to waking up all early, anyway."
Lilly is not. This much may be obvious from the yawning alone.
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Date: 2005-09-12 02:26 am (UTC)A small shrug. "Cort had us up with the dawn. You learned not to sleep in very quickly."
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Date: 2005-09-12 02:30 am (UTC)"Yeah, okay. He totally didn't care."
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Date: 2005-09-12 02:39 am (UTC)"Good practice."
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Date: 2005-09-12 02:43 am (UTC)Actually, normally she's not this bad in the mornings either, but she hasn't been sleeping that well since her return. It makes waking up even harder than it usually is.
"So. If I get up there'll be coffee, right?"
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Date: 2005-09-12 02:47 am (UTC)He twists his head to kiss her forehead lightly.
"Aye. Now or later."
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Date: 2005-09-12 02:53 am (UTC)"I'll need extra to make up for lack of sleep, too," she adds without really thinking about it.
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Date: 2005-09-12 03:19 am (UTC)"Aye?"
Quiet and conversational.
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Date: 2005-09-12 03:23 am (UTC)"Yeah, well. Any excuse to drink more coffee, right?"
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Date: 2005-09-12 03:37 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-09-12 03:43 am (UTC)It's not dreams that keep her up at night, not anymore. Now, it's memories.
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Date: 2005-09-12 03:50 am (UTC)"Want to talk about it?"
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Date: 2005-09-12 03:53 am (UTC)She's not tense, exactly. Not really relaxed either, though.
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Date: 2005-09-12 03:59 am (UTC)Then, "All right."
It is.
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Date: 2005-09-12 04:04 am (UTC)And she's not talking anymore, either.
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Date: 2005-09-12 04:12 am (UTC)When there's no further response, his arm tightens around her, pulling her just a little more towards him.
Softly, into the early-morning tangle of her hair, "What's wrong?"
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Date: 2005-09-12 04:30 am (UTC)"Just, you know. The whole Dreaming thing worked but it wasn't so much fun, exactly."
She shrugs, lets herself relax against him a little.
"I'll be fine."
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Date: 2005-09-12 05:02 am (UTC)One thumb strokes gently over her hip, soothing.
"We only saw bits of it here, I ken that."
It's not exactly a question. But if she needs it to be... it's close enough to one.
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Date: 2005-09-12 05:09 am (UTC)Peter's face crumpling as she left him, again. Raven handing her a piece of thread. Mal's hand, wet with her blood. Alain bandaging the slash in her side.
And that wasn't even the worst of it.
"Probably for the best."
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Date: 2005-09-12 05:15 am (UTC)So he catches bits of that -- a hand wet with blood, a quick flicker of Peter's agonized face, a thread like an anchor.
He's very still, for a moment.
"None of your friends would have grudged it, to help." A little bleak, because he knows full well they couldn't have.
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Date: 2005-09-12 05:34 am (UTC)Well, her friends in the bar couldn't help. The one she called or dreamt or remembered or maybe all three managed to help.
Lilly's remembering Roland wearing his white Hawaiian shirt with red flowers and twirling her at the edge of the ocean. She remembers him standing and laughing, even when the wolf was howling on her trail.
It makes her smile a little, even now.
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Date: 2005-09-12 05:53 am (UTC)And so there's a sudden flash of a picture in his head, Roland in bright sunlight with his head thrown back and laughing aloud, and it makes his breath catch slightly with the unexpectedness of it.
He shifts, pushing himself up on one elbow enough to see her face. She's smiling, small and private.
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Date: 2005-09-12 05:59 am (UTC)"Alain? What is it?"
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Date: 2005-09-12 06:06 am (UTC)There's a funny, thoughtful look on his face. Nostalgic, maybe, a little.
He reaches up to brush her hair away from her face. "What're you thinking about?"
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Date: 2005-09-12 06:24 am (UTC)"You wanna tell me what you're thinking about first?"
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Date: 2005-09-12 06:35 am (UTC)"Just..." He shakes his head, slightly. "Caught a quick flash of... a dream, I guess it was. Roland." A faint smile. "Took me by surprise."
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Date: 2005-09-12 06:45 am (UTC)"What do you mean, caught a flash-"
She breaks off, pulling away from him.
"You can- you can see what I'm thinking?"
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Date: 2005-09-12 06:51 am (UTC)"I -- Not usually, I wasn't looking or anything. Lilly, you know--"
Pause. Review past conversations, in light of the expression on her face now. Eyes squeeze close for a second.
"I thought you knew. Didn't -- fuck."
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Date: 2005-09-12 07:01 am (UTC)Lilly's on the far side of the bed now.
"Yeah, not so much. Maybe something you should have mentioned, huh?"
The idea of him being psychic isn't what's upsetting her, not really. It's that Lilly just spent several really not fun weeks with voices whispering in her head, and finding out, now, that one of them could have been Alain's... yeah. Not good.
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Date: 2005-09-12 07:07 am (UTC)"Not like -- it's just the touch. I don't listen in."
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Date: 2005-09-12 07:14 am (UTC)"Maybe you should explain to me exactly what the touch is, then," she says shakily.
"It's not... I wouldn't... Okay, when you're doing it?"
She takes a deep breath, looks down.
"Do I hear anything? Like, um... a voice or something?"
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Date: 2005-09-12 07:19 am (UTC)It takes him a second to answer. Then, "No."
"No, nothing like that. It's just... intuition, you ken? Only more. Like hearing, sensing... it's hard to describe right. But no voices. Never in life, Lilly."
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Date: 2005-09-12 07:28 am (UTC)"Okay," she says finally, trying to mean it, but her voice isn't entirely steady and she's still not quite looking at him.
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Date: 2005-09-12 07:35 am (UTC)Low, "I don't use it, mostly. I thought you knew. Long ago. I wasn't trying to keep it from you, my warrant on it."
He doesn't know how to fix this.
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Date: 2005-09-12 08:00 am (UTC)"It's just, um. I didn't know that you could get in my mind. It's sorta surprising news, you ken?"
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Date: 2005-09-12 08:08 am (UTC)He scrubs a hand over his face, rough and distracted.
"It's not... getting in, not like -- I'd no more listen where I wasn't wanted than I'd go peeking in windows at night. On my father's guns, I'd never go poking about in your head. I just caught..."
He exhales.
Softly, "You want me to go?"
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Date: 2005-09-12 08:17 am (UTC)"Um, Alain? It's your room. You don't have to go just because..."
She sighs, drops her head onto her folded arms.
"Because I'm way too freaked out by this. I'm sorry."
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Date: 2005-09-12 08:20 am (UTC)He's holding still, now. Waiting to see which way to move.
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Date: 2005-09-12 08:34 am (UTC)And yet... he saw Roland in her mind and she'd have never known if she hadn't caught the look on his face. Lilly wonders, suddenly, what else he's seen.
She lifts her head sharply, trying to stop that train of thought before it can start. Alain's looking at her and she opens her mouth to say something and then just shuts it again.
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Date: 2005-09-12 08:41 am (UTC)His eyes close for a second, and then he shifts the sheet aside, and slides out of bed.
Their clothes are in a haphazard pile on the floor. He gathers them up, absently, as he moves to get fresh jeans and shirt.
He may or may not realize that he's moving quietly and deliberately, as if he were around an animal that might startle easily.
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Date: 2005-09-12 08:47 am (UTC)"I think... I'm just going to go, then."
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Date: 2005-09-12 08:51 am (UTC)"All right."
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Date: 2005-09-12 09:00 am (UTC)As bad as she feels about more or less running out on Alain, she'd feel worse having some kind of breakdown at him for something that's not his fault.
"I'll talk to you later, kay?" she says, glancing back as she opens the door.
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Date: 2005-09-12 09:05 am (UTC)The door shuts behind her with a quiet click, and the room is silent.
Alain drops into the armchair -- it's nearest -- and rakes a hand through his hair.
Fuck.
Just... fuck.