awesome_lilly | (no subject)

(no subject)

Lilly is attempting to help her friend Captain Wooden Chicken back to his ship. However, as Captain Wooden Chicken has been steadily losing at quarters for some time, this is not turning out to be easy. She tries again.

"Okay, Mal. Where's the door to your ship again? Because this is still a hallway."

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Lilly beams. She's had less tequila than Mal, but there's still a lot of ground covered there.

"That is an excellent idea. He's the one with the Hawaiian shirts, right? Can I get a grass skirt to go with the theme?"

Barty grins. He's not sure what a Hawaiian shirt is, but he's got a pretty shrewd idea about the grass skirts. He points his wand at Lilly, and says the spell...

and she's now wearing a (rather short) grass skirt. "Skirt for the both of you? I think you'd look good in one, Mal."

"What's a Hawaiian shirt, though? Is colourful, you say?"

"Ah, Hawaiian shirt'd be button-down things with short sleeves," Mal explains. "Usually colors so bright that ya wanna throw 'em in a hold just so's its not hurtin' your eyes no more, and more often 'n not they have flowers on 'em in white or some such."

It takes Mal a minute to realize the significance of Barty's second question, and suddenly has a very serious look on his face. "No ruttin' way you're puttin' me in one o' those things; I'd look like a fèifèi de pìyăn!

"Well...'s long as I'd be gettin' a pair o' shorts under 'em, I s'pose it'd be fine for now. But we gotta stay...outta the bar. Agreed?"

"Fine by me," Lilly replies. "I'm used to appearing there with people who can hold their liquor, anyway."

She smiles sweetly at Mal, then turns to Barty.

"Hey, actually, if you're doing more clothes, can I get a bikini to go with the grass skirt?"

Lilly thinks that this will likely not be a problem.

"OK. I think I get the idea with those shirts. Let me see..."

He thinks for a while, then grins, and casts two identical spells. Two identical shirts appear on them. Both fit Mal's description. At least, on the front. On the back they have a rather ugly logo of a skull with a snake for a tongue, and the caption I joined the Death Eaters and all I got was this lousy shirt!

Another fick of the wand, another spell, and Mal is wearing a grass skirt too. With shorts underneath.

Then he turns to Lilly. A bikini will most certainly not be a problem. Not at all. Yet another spell...and she's wearing one.

After Mal's ordinary brown shirt is transformed into brightly colored hawaiian print, he spins around to see the back of Lilly's after his eye catches something looking oddly like a skull.

"zhè shì shénme làn dōngxi? I mean, the skirt's shiny and whatever, but I ain't exactly been meanin' this when I said I wanted a shirt. Can you please change it?" Of course, the significance of this symbol completely escapes Mal's notice.

Lilly nods, grimacing at Mal's shirt.

"Yeah, this thing on the back's hideous. It looks like something you'd get at a Hell's Angels' craft fair. You don't have to change mine, though."

He doesn't, because she just takes it off.

"So. Who else feels like we're missing a luau?"

Barty doesn't think it's all that hideous. "But it adds a touch of class! Well. I can remove it if you want," he says with a bit of annoyance. A swish of the wand, and the skull is gone, but not the words. He'll remove them if asked, though.

"What's a luau?" All this Muggle stuff is making his head spin.

"I'd like the words off too, if ya dun mind, Mister Barty."

Mal turns to Lilly once again, equal parts intoxicated and confused. "What is a luau?"

Lilly smiles the way a shark would if it wore lipstick.

"Oh, you'll find out."

He frowns momentarily, and removes the words with a simple vanishing spell.

"That's an evil smile you've got there. I like that." He grins. "Evil smiles mean evil plans."

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